Reflection 2016: New year Same Me

reflection 2016

Here comes my cliché statement of the year – 2016 went by all too quickly. You knew it was coming, hell I knew it was coming, so I thought it best to get it out there and out of the way.

The ‘new year new me’ statement that many of us adopt seems all too stereotypical doesn’t it? How many of us, regardless of whether or not we announce it, wait until the new year to wipe the slate clean and try again? Unashamedly I’m one of those people. The new year for me means that those all important changes which I couldn’t bear to face in October would be put into action. The new year means new goals, another tick off the 5 year plan, a ‘better’ version of me and a new method of thinking. A life which I’ve aspired to live for many years. A life which I’ve attempted every year, but failed miserably come February. A life which seems…well…perfect (my version of perfection at least). This new year, come rain or shine, I’m becoming that ideal of perfection that I’ve always craved for.

Sounds a little defeatist doesn’t it? I mean, what’s wrong with me? Why do I need to view the new year as a way of turning myself inside out to conform to ‘ideals’? I’ve lived through 2016 perfectly fine, why should 2017 be any different? Let’s think this through now. Do I really need to change in 2017? Yes and no.

2016 has been a huge building block for me. 2015 ended with the notion that the new year will bring prosperity, education and planning for a brighter future. The past 12 months have been used to build upon my knowledge, strive towards future plans and gain a foundation for 2017. Seems like a waste of a year, but 2016 was never about achieving goals, it was about working towards them.

I’ve eagerly anticipated the arrival of 2017 for quite some time. Several life-affecting changes will occur, some planned and some caught by surprise. Whilst working on a ‘better’ me seems like a great way to incorporate a fresh mind frame for these changes, I can’t help but focus on days gone by. My preceding years have been filled with great happiness and positivity. Not to say that I’m now not happy – not by any means. I simply ponder on the person I once was and wonder ‘what changed?’.

Well, for a start, age happened. Granted I’m only 30, but many of life’s occurrences have aged me immensely. Spontaneity, self-importance, personal gratification and a sense of adventure were all integral parts of my youth. Where did it all go? Have I become that much of an adult that I’ve lost my sense of fun? Perhaps. I’ve sacrificed a lot over the past 12 months and with that sacrifice, a little part of me drifted away.

Sounds a little sad when I read this out aloud. I’ve gone over it twice and twice again in my head, but to read it out aloud makes it all seem quite brutal. How could I let this happen? How could I lose my own personal sense of direction in order to achieve a great future for my family? Surely the old me is in there somewhere, just dying to come out. Even if I doesn’t suit my current lifestyle, surely the old me isn’t lost.

Despite my initial statement, 2017 DOES bring new hope for me. A hope that I become the exact same person I once was. A hope that my routine, my hobbies, my self-development, my goals and my aspirations become just as important as everything else that I’ve prioritised in the last 12 months. A hope that while I strive towards these life-changing alterations in 2017, I don’t lose a sense of myself in the process. I need to focus on what is important whilst maintaining self gratification. Find that right balance between responsibility and enjoyment, indulgence and self control and comfort vs self motivation. I need to get out there and do things for myself, even if it means that a little sacrifice will have to be made. Never, ever lose myself again, because the old me wasn’t all that bad.

So with all that said – does 2017 bring upon the opportunity to become a new person? Not for me it doesn’t. 2017 is all about becoming me again.

Wishing you all a happy, healthy and prosperous new year. May 2017 bring to light what’s important to you and give you the motivation to go out there and achieve it. Happy new year beauties xxx